This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

I’ve never been shy about giving sartorial advice. Sometimes, that makes me a valuable and trusted advisor to people seeking guidance about what they’re wearing. Sometimes, that makes me a big fucking jerk. (I have ruined many a first impression by loudly expressing my distaste for Allbirds. I have no regrets. Allbirds will never be recommended in any way, shape or form.) But name one good blogger that isn’t a big fucking jerk! It’s this profession; this arduous path I have chosen to walk that makes me the person I am. It’s not because I’m actually a jerk.

Who I am is a person that knows what other people should be wearing. I can’t claim that all of my fits are good, but if I dress you, your fit will be. Maybe I should just become a stylist instead of a slave to my self-imposed weekly deadline. Maybe I should just get on with this highly recommended post so you know what I’m actually recommending.

I highly recommend wearing a robe.

Why?

Most Cozy

I’m sure you’ve felt cozy before. But I’m not sure you’ve felt the MOST cozy. Because if you’ve felt the MOST cozy, you wouldn’t be able to think about anything other than feeling the MOST cozy. (You wouldn’t be able to even read this blog right now if you were the MOST cozy.) But if you’ve worn a robe before, you know what I’m talking about. It’s a feeling that can’t be articulated, even though I’m trying to articulate it now. Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead.

Luxurious

Now this is the shit that I’m talking about – luxury. Who doesn’t love luxury? Who doesn’t love feeling like they’re covered in butter without the negative side effects? If you don’t let yourself feel luxurious every once in a while, life’s not worth living. Luxury makes you feel good, as long as you don’t get too much of it. And if laying around while swaddled in one continuous piece of comfortable cloth that goes three-quarters of the way down your body isn’t luxurious, I’m going to retire from blogging.

Helps Me Relax

Before I moved to New York, I used to be the King of Relaxation. (Even as a kid, I found any and every way possible to avoid labor. Just ask my parents.) But the Big Apple (and the desire to crush my blogging competition) has elevated my anxiety. So instead of self-medicating (in addition to self-medicating), I find other ways to take it easy. I find the that wearing the most comfortable item of clothing ever created is an incredible way to take it easy.

Quick Change Ability

Too many clothes require multiple steps to get them off, which is ridiculous. Since we have to put them on everyday, you would think that someone would have come up with a more streamlined process. You would think that all other designers would take cues from the robe, which can be slid on and whipped off in one casual motion. If I need to move from MOST cozy to business casual, I barely have to exert any effort. And that’s the way I want to live my life, as evident by the quality of this blog.

Unique

I don’t just wear things because I’m on the only person wearing them. But being a sartorial trailblazer is a welcome side effect of robing up. I know robes have been around for a while and are a staple of suburban dads stumbling out to grab the paper from the driveway, but they haven’t caught on with my generation (worthless Millennials). I’m going to make it happen and they’re going to build a statue of me in the town square. And in that statue, you better fucking believe I’ll be wearing a robe.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about wearing a robe.

Not Socially Acceptable To Wear In Public For Long Periods Of Time

Like I mentioned, grabbing the newspaper is cool. But the one time I tried to wear my robe out to brunch, I was viewed as a pariah. I don’t know if it was because I’m not cool enough to wear whatever I want or if society has decided that it’s truly not cool to wear something created to help you cover up in a comfortable way after a shower out in public, but it was clear I was in the wrong. But because Abraham Lincoln told me to “never give up”, I’ll try it again soon.

In the process of writing this post, I realized that I’ve given you, my loyal readers, many different pieces of fashion advice. And while all of them have been both insightful and useful, I would implore you to ignore everything except for this one. Because if you can only do one thing in your life, you should wear a robe. (And read highly recommended, but that was implied.)

love,

nicholas