This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like things that I like.

Dear Reader,

Do you have a therapist? I’ve always thought having a therapist was dumb because I’m a normal Midwestern boy with little to no neuroses and the ability to deal with my feelings in a healthy and productive way that doesn’t involve paying somebody to listen to me. The only therapist I ever saw that seemed to make things better did so because they stopped being a therapist and started being a love interest in a sports-based mid-90s romantic comedy.

Now, I don’t mean to totally underestimate the value of therapists. They work wonders for some people. I just choose to deal with my feelings (of which there happen to be many at the moment) in a more non-traditional way.

I highly recommend buying things instead of dealing with your feelings.

Why?

New Stuff

If you don’t love new stuff, you’re lying. Straight up. Whatever kind of new stuff it is -  new shirts, new shoes, new headphones, new junk, new whatever - it’s great. There’s a certain feeling you get from adding something to your growing list of possessions. Part power, part joy. It just feels good to know that you have the financial means and physical ability to buy something. (Does everybody have this feeling? Or is this making me sound like a sociopath?) (This whole series of blogs is probably building a solid case for me having some sort of mental disorder.) (Is this series of blogs just serving as a place to work out mental shortcomings, in essence just a form of “free therapy”?)

Temporary Euphoria

You wouldn’t want euphoria all the time. That would be incredibly overwhelming. That feeling I brought up in the previous paragraph? It’s fleeting. You only get it right after you open a package or the first time you use that new thing. Then it’s gone. It becomes an old thing, a thing you’ve always had. If you felt euphoric all the time, you wouldn't really ever feel euphoria. 

Bookmark Deletion

As an avid practitioner of buying things instead of dealing with my feelings, I’m constantly looking for new things to buy in case new feelings should arise. To keep track of all those future purchases, I bookmark them. My “TO BUY” folder is always full. And deleting one of those bookmarks after finally spending my easily earned money on something new is like checking an item off a capitalism-fueled to-do list. I completed a task, no matter how self-indulgent.

Wardrobe Improvement

I like to think I know what I’m doing when it comes to clothes. Or at least I think about them enough that I should probably know what I’m doing. And when you know what you’re doing when it comes to clothes, there’s always a piece out there that can be purchased instead of accessing emotions that you’ve been repressing since you very first felt. So even when I might not feel good, I look good.

Reinforcing The Status Quo

Keeping things the same is my speciality. I have the same thing for breakfast everyday. I stand in the same spot on the sweaty ass platform at the Franklin Ave subway stop in Crown Heights, Brooklyn every morning while waiting for the 4 Express train. And I’ve realized that finding more space for a new pair of Jordans is easier than upending your life just because you want to understand how you feel. When you ignore things, they stay the same. (For the most part.) And when things stay the same, that’s comfortable. I like comfortable.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about buying things instead of dealing with your feelings.

Going Broke

It would be great if feelings didn’t happen on a regular basis. That way I could save up; have a nice stack of cash on hand for when it’s necessary to go on a repressive buying spree. But I’m blessed with the one-two punch of feeling and being bad with money.

(Stunting My Personal Growth)

(This is probably worse than going broke, but the highly recommended rules state that you can only pick one thing you don’t like. Since going broke is a much more immediate source of dissatisfaction, it gets the W.)

I should probably find another way of dealing with my feelings. But paying for weekly therapy sessions wouldn’t alleviate the key concern I have with buying things as a way of dealing with my feelings. And talking openly and honestly about what’s going on inside my head sounds like a hell of a lot more work than using Google AutoFill to punch in my credit card number (Southwest Rapid Rewards Card, baby!). Does free therapy exist? Or is that just sitting on a park bench and talking loudly to no one in particular about how you feel like you aren’t living up to your potential?

love,

nicholas