This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.
Dear Reader,
Most days, I ride the subway to an office building where I get paid to think about things. And most days, I think about something other than what I’m getting paid to think about. (To any colleagues who are reading (I know there are a few thousand), this really shouldn’t come as a surprise.) I don’t do this because I want to be a bad employee. I do this because there are just so many great things to let eat away at your mental energy until you’re too burnt out to even have a conversation. (A few examples: Why are birds so suspicious? Why is there both hand sanitizer and hand soap next to that sink? How do I turn these lights off?)
But on some days, there’s only one thought that occupies all the negative space in my brain. It’s wondering whether or not people have noticed my footwear. Because sometimes, my footwear choice is worth noticing.
I highly recommend wearing basketball shoes when you’re not playing basketball.
Why?
Confusing People
Anybody who claims they dress for themselves is full of shit. All of my fellow idiots who are out here getting fits off are only doing so to impress other people. (I only dress to impress other dudes.) Confusing the uninitiated is an unintended and incredibly fun consequence. When I wear a pair of highly technical shoes developed to be worn by millionaire athletes at critical moments on the court with a pair of $30 Uniqlo jeans and a t-shirt, I get looks. Not “wow, I really love what you’re wearing looks.” More like “what was going through your mind this morning when you got dressed?” And those are the looks I want.
Being Mistaken For A Professional Athlete
Some people are confused because I’m wearing athletic shoes in a non-athletic setting. But just as many will wonder why a normal person would be wearing shoes meant for professional athletes, which will lead them to the conclusion that I must be a professional athlete if I’m wearing professional athlete shoes. (Sound logic, I know.) And since I’m just taller than the shortest players in the NBA, it makes sense. Next time that person turns on TNT for Wednesday night basketball, they’ll be looking for me at the end of the bench. And there’s a good chance that a semi-tall white guy that looks vaguely similar to me will be there.
Always Ready To Dunk
Can I dunk? (No.) But am I ready to dunk should the need arise? (Hell yeah.)
Feeling Bouncy
You ever have one of those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? And then you forget to bring clean underwear and socks with you to the gym? And then the train gets delayed multiple times, turning your normally 30 minute commute into something closer to an hour? And then you get to work and the line for the coffee bar is too long for you to wait in before you first meeting, which will inevitably be a 20 minute waste of your time? And then you spend the next 8 hours staring into your company issued laptop and accomplishing nothing of any value before returning home to cook a healthy meal for yourself that you know won’t be satisfying in any way? I’ve never had a day like that. But if I did, I’m sure that wearing shoes engineered to literally put some more bounce in your step would help make you feel a little better.
Getting More Use Out Of The Shoes I Bought To Play Basketball In
Yes, I bought the KD XI’s with the purpose of using them as a basketball shoe. But due to a lack of effort and general basketball skill, my playing time on the company squad is pretty limited. I figure if I’m going to be limited to a handful of garbage time minutes, I should give these shoes the experience of pounding the disgusting New York pavement. I’m sure they love it.
There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about wearing basketball shoes when you’re not playing basketball.
I’m Definitely Going To Ruin These $150 Shoes
Listen, I’m not one of those guys that buys shoes and keeps them in the box. (If you’re not wearing your sneakers, you have a problem.) But when shoes look this good, I feel at least a little compelled to keep them in decent shape. I haven’t lived in New York long, but I’ve learned that walking around the five boroughs is the quickest way to murder your shoes. (Have I already ruined these $150 shoes? Pretty much. And it’s only going to get worse.)
The verdict’s still out on what I’m going to be thinking about today. Is there work I should be doing? Of course. But will I spend at least 3 hours clicking through different Wikipedia articles in an effort to understand the intricacies of the War of 1812 while also tabbing back and forth between online shopping carts full of other sneakers I can’t afford?
You know me too well, me.
love,
nicholas