This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

What the fuck is going on with Movie Pass? It was so great. (It was too great.) That’s probably why it’s not so great anymore. What’s the Robert Frost poem? “Nothing great can stay great forever because being great is an inherently ephemeral quality”? Such a wonderful poet.

And yet, all of my griping about the deteriorating state of Movie Pass, I still pay for it. And I’m glad I still pay for it. Because it makes it easier for me to participate in one of my favorite pastimes.

I highly recommend seeing a movie alone.

Why?

Easier To Find A Seat

It’s simple math: finding one seat in a crowded movie theater is much, much easier than finding two. And when I’ve just got myself to please, I can sit wherever I want. And I don’t really mind sitting all the way up front. Having to slump back in my seat to see the screen is actually pretty similar to my standard posture, so it’s not that uncomfortable. (Don’t even get me started on the total bullshit that is movie theaters where you have to reserve a seat. I like to show up to my showtime early, and I should be rewarded for that.)

No Snack Sharing

No snacks are better than movie theater snacks. (My opinion is valid because I am the Snack King™.) And when I’m alone, I get an outrageous amount of popcorn to myself. I need it all. I need it all, all the time. I’m the kind of movie theater snacker that has no shame is shoving a handful of popcorn into my mouth during a quiet and tense moment of the movie and ruining the moment for everyone. So while my fellow movie goers might not appreciate that I have more popcorn to myself, I do.

Cheap

I pay $9.95 a month for Movie Pass, which is becoming less and less of a good deal. But it’s still cheaper than paying $9.95 (x2) a month!

No Interruptions

No, I don’t considering popcorn eating sound an interruption. Or even audible exclamations of surprise or horror. (If a movie does something that makes you yell at the screen, it’s a good movie.) I do consider, however, the person I’m attending the movie with turning to me at a pivotal moment and asking a question an interruption. Let’s just talk after the credits roll. (More on that later.)

Good Use Of Alone Time

I’ve spent quite a bit of time doing things on my own. And I’ve done just about everything you can do alone – eat, walk, run, snack, drink, sleep, watch TV, read, nap, write, work, work out, ride a bike, stare out that one window at the office instead of doing anything productive and see a movie. After all of that research, I’ve concluded that seeing a movie alone is a good use of this alone time. (Also, don’t worry about me spending so much time alone. It’s all in the name of science.)

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about seeing movies alone.

No One To Talk To After The Movie

I don’t like talking during the movie. But afterwards is the perfect time to discuss what just happened. As a staunch opponent of talking to strangers, finding a conversation partner who didn’t attend the screening with me is totally out of the option. Sometimes, I can remember to hold onto my quality talking points until I’m with someone who has also seen the movie. Sometimes, I can’t remember. What a waste.

I still remember when I signed up for Movie Pass. The app looked like apps looked on the first iPhone I had almost a decade ago. Maybe they were going for nostalgia, which isn’t a bad idea because nostalgia is so hot right now. (And all the time, but that’s kind of a deeper cultural issue.) Maybe they just had a really shitty app.

Maybe I just have a really shitty blog. We’ll never really know.

love,

nicholas