This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

There are some things you can’t control. You can’t control the weather. You can’t control whether or not the train shows up on time. You can’t control when you start to lose your hair. (You can only react to it –shoutout Hims, sponsor the blog.) When you think about it, you can’t really control anything.

Especially not how tall you are. And that sucks for you.

I highly recommend being tall.

Why?

Being Able To Reach Things

You have no idea how incredible my storage options are. Shelves, ledges, hooks, anything way up high is at my disposal and not yours. If there’s something I don’t want you to have access to (or at least access to without help from a footstool), I can put it out of your reach. But if I’m feeling more generous and want to be more of a “good guy”, I can offer to reach things for people when they can’t.

Being Able To See Over People At Concerts

As I get older and older, I’m moving away from the pit-crashing, front-row standing concert lifestyle of my youth. The back of the pack is usually a little bit more calm. (And closer to the bar.) But because of my height, standing at the back is no problem – I still have a pretty decent view of the stage. And because I’m truly a dick, I also enjoy standing in front of people who are shorter than me, especially if they’re trying to take a photo of the stage. (Why are you trying to take a grainy concert photo on your iPhone? There are most likely professional photographers at the venue who are getting paid to take better photos than you will ever take. And if you truly want some sort of physical memento of the concert, buy some goddamn merch. I will never (NEVER) write a highly recommended on taking concert photos with an iPhone.)

Potential To Be An Effective Basketball Player

No shade to dudes like Isaiah Thomas, but I’m technically more physically prepared to play basketball at an elite level. Did I ever play basketball at an elite level? Will I ever play basketball at an elite level? Do I need to play basketball at an elite level to prove I can play basketball at an elite level?

Long Legs

Pants just look better when you have long legs. And I feel like pants would be harder to find if you had short legs. I don’t know if that’s true. Don’t fact check me.

Reinforcement Of Masculinity

It’s not like my sense of masculinity is constantly being undermined, but being tall reminds me that I’m a man. Because if you’re not tall, you’re not a man. If you’re a man and you’re not tall, then you’re just a man. See the difference? (It's the italics.) I’m not sure I could be any more clear.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about being tall.

Sitting In The Backseat Of A Car

One time in college, I decided to go on a road trip from Columbia, Missouri to New Orleans for spring break. I owned a car that I very much enjoyed driving, but I took up my friend Chris on his offer to drive. While I don’t remember why I let that happen, it came to be one of the worst decisions I’d ever made in my life. Not the trip, the ride. Through various social wheelings and dealings that I don’t exactly remember, I ended up in the middle seat in the back of the car. For the entire 12 hours. After hour 3, I couldn’t feel my legs as they were wadded up like a pair of headphones in the small space beneath the seat. By hour 7, I was unsure that I would ever walk again. I was starting to wonder if my friends would have to push me down Bourbon Street in a wheelchair. By hour 12, I’d done enough thinking to rationalize life without legs. I didn’t need them to lead a fulfilling existence. But magically, mysteriously, when we all got out of the car, I could walk just fine. The only lesson I really learned is that thinking too much can get you into trouble.

You might have read this whole blog post (congrats!) wondering exactly how tall I am. Well, I’m (and don’t fact check this because you can totally trust me I’ve never lied, not even once, especially not on this blog) six foot eight.

And contrary to popular belief, I really enjoy it when people ask “how’s the weather up there?”

love,

nicholas