This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

I know this isn’t exactly a controversial take, but I should probably take a break from controversial takes. They wear me out. The constant back and forth with all of my haters on the internet. (Of which there are many. You know who you are.) What do I gain from taking a stand? The respect of the people? We all know that’s not as good as an army of hate readers.

That’s why this highly recommended is sticking to one of the most non-controversial subjects of all time. Anyone that disagrees with what I’m recommending would be labeled a sociopath by every other human being with a heart. (I’m not a scientist/doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s pretty much every human being.)

I highly recommend saying hello to every dog you pass on the sidewalk.

Why?

Many Of The Positives Of A Dog Without The Negatives Of A Dog

Yes, I understand that having a dog of your own is totally worth all of the early morning walks and incredibly high vet bills. But what if you didn’t have to do those things? What if you just got the unfailing love without the piss on your carpet? A friendly dog face isn’t as great as endless dog snuggles, but it’s something. And it’s something you don’t have to clean up.

Usually Elicits Positive Dog Response

Speaking of friendly dog faces, I’ve never encountered a dog that wasn’t happy to hear my greeting. They’ve got their tongues out. They’ve got their tails wagging. They’ve got those good time vibes that only dogs can have. Dogs are usually happy to hear anything, but I like to think that the way I say hello is more friendly than the ways that other people say hello. It probably has something to do with the timbre of my voice. (No, I don’t really know what timbre means, but it seems like the right word to use here.) But it most likely has something to do with the fact that dogs love everybody. Dogs are so great.

Reminds Me To Be Friendly

I’m generally a nice guy. But the mean streets of New York City have hardened me. I’m no longer the genial Midwestern boy my mother raised me to be. But I can’t help be friendly to a good boy who’s out for walk. It’s impossible. And it’s a daily reminder that being nice (to dogs) can go a long way (happy dog).

Low Risk Opportunity To Be Social

I wouldn’t consider myself shy. But I do cherish my alone time, especially when in public. I know that putting yourself out there and talking to people you don’t know can yield something positive, but those positives are few and far between. (Why in the world would I need new friends?) Greeting someone who can’t technically greet you back keeps the stakes low – no awkward small talk, just general tail wagging. I am always willing to stick my neck out if I can get some good tail wagging.

Makes Me Feel Popular

Engagement numbers on this blog (along with laughably low follower counts on ALL social media platforms) make it pretty clear that I am not popular on the internet. But you know who doesn’t care about internet popularity? The dogs I say hello to when I pass them on the sidewalk. They know nothing of my carefully constructed internet persona that languishes in obscurity on the tubes that connect us all. All they know is that I’m probably the most friendly guy they’ve ever met.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about saying hello to every dog you pass on the sidewalk.

Negative Owner Reaction

Most of the time, dog owners are fine with me enthusiastically talking to their dog. After all, it’s just a dog – if you don’t like people talking to your dog, maybe you shouldn’t have a dog. (I would never advocate not taking your dog out in public.) But some dog owners don’t take kindly to my friendly ways. And that usually leads to one of those awkward human interactions I was trying to avoid in the first place. It should have been clear that I was trying to talk to your dog, not you.

Now that I’ve written this blog post, I’ve realized why I normally take more controversial stands – this was boring. Who is going to argue with this? Where will the thoughtful dissection and discussion come from? What happens if no one pens a rebuttal post? Was this ever worth posting at all?

Probably not. But then again, when has this blog ever been worth writing?

(Yikes. That was a little dark, especially at the end of a post about dogs. I’ll try to do better next week. Promise.)

love,

nicholas