This is highly recommended, a series where I provide compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

Let’s do something I never do with the introductions of highly recommended posts: get to the fucking point.

It’s Outerwear Season, baby! And Outerwear Season is the best season.

I know that most of my readers don’t agree with my seasonal preferences (and that means ya basic), but I’ve never been a person to shy away from taking a stand for something I believe in. Because if I don’t use my platform to promote causes that are truly just (like owning more pieces of outerwear than underwear), what’s the point of having a platform at all?

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get specific: not all outerwear is created equal.

I highly recommend outerwear with buttons or snaps instead of zippers.

Why?

Flexibility

Zippers offer a one and done way to close up your outerwear: you hook it up at the bottom and zip it up. It’s limiting. What if I want to have my outerwear enclosed only up by my neck? What if I’m trying to cover up the few pounds I’ve gained during Cake Body Season (which is interestingly the same season as Outerwear Season) and I want to hide just my gut with an extra layer? Don’t get me started on zipping halfway up – it’s not the same and you know it.

Satisfying Closure Mechanism

This might just be a personal preference, but this whole blog is about communicating my personal preferences. So it seems like the right space to talk about how much more emotionally and physically satisfying it is to snap something together or put a button through it’s hole than zip up a zipper. The endless runway of loose teeth provided by a zipper pales in comparison to the finality of snaps and buttons. There’s a reason they (Who? I wish I knew?) put a button on the waistbands of pants, even those with a zipper fly: without it, nothing would stay where it’s supposed to stay.

More Dignified

Go look at some old paintings of important people in coats. Do any of those coats have zippers? I only wear outerwear designed for royalty.

Customization Opportunities

When buying outerwear that’s in my price range, it’s inevitable that I will purchase a piece that someone else already owns. Instead of stealing the jawnz they have copped with their hard earned money and throwing them in the trash (that would be satisfying but ultimately wasteful – good Nick should donate this copycat coat to the local thrift store), I can toy with the buttons on my coat to bring back some of the originality. Does toying with the buttons mean not replacing the one that fell off because I have no sewing skills? Do you, loyal reader, know me?

Ability To Quickly Disrobe

I’m not saying I need this ability all of the time, but it’s nice to have the option to quickly rip open my coat without having to carefully unfurl the zipper. Global warming is real. And global warming can happen incredibly quickly and without notice and in an area as small as the human body while on a crowded subway car, based on my extensive research. You’ve got to be prepared at all times.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about outerwear with buttons or snaps instead of zippers.

Hard To Find

Despite my outsized influence, most designers haven’t listened to my pleas to stop making great outerwear with zippers. I would own at least 12 more coats if they had been equipped with buttons or snaps instead of zippers. (If you’re thinking “maybe you don’t need 12 more pieces of outerwear” then I’m thinking you should get the fuck off this URL.) Here’s to hoping this blog post convinces the Raf’s and Rick’s of the world that zippers are absolute garbage. (Not that I can afford the outerwear that the Raf’s and Rick’s of the world are producing, but that’s entirely besides the point. (Which I got to earlier, remember?)

Let’s review:

Did I effectively “get to the point” in this intro?

If so, was “getting to the point” an effective tactic for a highly recommended introduction?

If so, should I start “getting to the point” in intros or continue my practice of starting highly recommended blog posts with non-sequiturs?

If so, will only a handful of people continue to read highly recommended?

If so, will I continue to write it?

love,

nicholas