This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

Listen, I’m not the kind of guy that’s going to tell you what you need to do. I would never do that. Will I tell you what I think you should do based on the experience I’ve gathered from the things that I’ve done? Maybe. But not all the time. I’m not the kind of guy who pretends that he does everything the right way. Now, do I think that my way of doing things is the right way? Sometimes. But I try to be flexible. (Not in a literal sense. My dad makes fun of me for not being able to touch my toes, something that he can do even though he’s three decades my senior. He can be a little bit of a jerk sometimes.)

I’m usually at my most flexible when considering the logical clarity of my blog posts. Does any of these make any sense? Who cares. Am I going to tell you do something only a few words after I said I wouldn’t do that?

I highly recommend getting a cup of coffee.

Why?

Taking A Mental Break

Loyal readers know how mentally taxing writing this blog can be. Unfortunately, there are days when my day job is even more mentally taxing. (Have you ever tried to sell high-speed internet through digital banner ads that people download software to actively avoid?) Leaving the office to go grab some hot water infused with beans provides a much needed respite from hammering away at the keyboard. And if it’s cold outside (like it is right now), the wind wakes me up enough to avoid accidentally taking an afternoon nap. (If it were more acceptable to sleep in public while getting paid, I wouldn’t be so worried about this. Naps are great.) (That being said, I’ll never write a highly recommended about naps because that’s fucking basic.)

Warming Up

While I welcome a slap in the face from the wind (better than a hand, trust me), being cold isn’t exactly comfortable. A nice cup of coffee makes the weather a little more bearable. I’m not entirely sure how the human body works, but when I drink something warm, the rest of me feels warm. I believe that’s called osmosis (jones). Would I be warmer if I ever zipped up my jacket? Probably. But jackets with zippers are incredibly frustrating and not flexible (like I am).

Caffeine

Who doesn’t love indulging in one of the weakest and least controlled stimulants available to the general public? I won’t say I have an addiction. But I will say that if I don’t get a decent amount of caffeine in my body on a daily basis, routine tasks become significantly more difficult. (Maybe I should write a highly recommended about those “Don’t Talk To Me Before I’ve Had My Coffee” mugs, which are definitely not basic.)

Supporting Capitalism

I enjoy supporting neo-socialist utopia fantasies as much as the next Millennial. But since we’re still operating in a capitalistic system, I figure I should do my part to contribute to the exchange of goods and services in a free market. Buying a $3 cup of coffee is a relatively easy way to do so without losing all of my money I did not work very hard to earn.

Adding A Cool Accessory

I’ve got a decent watch. A pretty cool ring. And a wide selection of hats. But none of those accessories compare to a cup of coffee. When’s the last time you saw a good celebrity street style shot where they weren’t holding a cold brew? (Yes, cold brew counts as coffee for the purposes of this discussion. If I were writing this highly recommended post in the middle of July, it would be about cold brew. I’ll probably do that next summer unless I find something better to do before then. (I have nothing better to do than write blog posts that nobody reads.) For now, just know that cold brew is highly recommended.) Bonus points if your coffee is from a cool local coffee shop that makes it look like you support local business and don’t succumb to the convenience of Starbucks. (Starbucks ain’t bad though, don’t get me wrong.) Next time your fit needs to go to the next level, go get yourself a macchiato.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about getting a cup of coffee.

Too Much Coffee Makes Me Feel A Little Uneasy

The caffeine jitters are a real thing. I have them right now. Could I drink an entire bottle of water to get rid of them? Yes. Will I probably switch to cheap canned beer instead? Most likely. You know me too well, me.

I’ll admit it – I definitely told you to do some things at multiple points throughout this blog post. But that doesn’t mean you have to do any of them. In fact, you don’t even need to read this blog. You probably aren’t reading this blog right now, even while you’re reading it.

That makes sense if you think about it. But I’m not telling you to think about it. I’m just telling you to go get a cup of coffee.

love,

nicholas