This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like.

Dear Reader,

It’s cancelation season. And rightfully so – people are out here doing things so egregiously and universally bad that there is no other option. They must be deleted from the public conscious, never to be heard from again.

It’s because of this cultural climate that I’m hesitant to make one of my boldest and most controversial statements yet. But it’s something that’s been eating me alive for the past few months. I can’t keep it inside any longer. I’m ready to accept the consequences, whatever they may be. The people need to know.

I highly recommend taking a shower with lukewarm water.

Why?

Not Too Hot

I don’t know how all of you hot shower people do it. When the water is too hot, I feel the opposite of relaxed. I feel like all of my skin is going to burn off, which is not the intended goal of a shower. (I haven’t checked in a while, but I’m pretty sure I’m still correct about the purpose of showers.) I’m not normally a very loud guy, but if I hop in the shower at Equinox (flex) and the water is hotter than the surface of the sun, I will SCREAM. I will yell so loudly that the people trying to do peaceful pilates on the third floor will hear me. They will feel my pain. Because ever after all of the pain I’ve experience (broken pelvis, broken arm, broken heart, etc.), nothing compares to getting scorched in the shower.

Not Too Cold

Cold showers don’t deserve their own highly recommended blog post, but they still have a purpose. I generally run hot. And when I’m hot in my hot apartment without air conditioning, a cold shower is the most effective way to cool down. But I can’t stand getting pelted with almost ice cubes every morning. A little bit warmer and I’m ready to lather up. (Lather is a really good word.)

Getting Clean

Remember how I said a few words ago that I was still correct about the purpose of showers? Getting clean is the purpose of showers. And the temperature of the water has no effect on the ability of the water to make you clean. (Being clean could be the subject of a future highly recommended if I start to run out of things to recommend. But I can assure you that being clean and climbing into a bed outfitted with clean sheets will definitely be the subject of a future highly recommended because there is no better feeling than that feeling.) Sure, you could argue that you’ll get clean no matter water temperature in the shower. But I would argue that getting clean feels even better when you’re the most comfortable you can be.

Coming Up With My Best Ideas

It’s a well known fact that I have a lot of great ideas. (This blog included.) So many people often ask me, “how do you come up with these great ideas? when do you come up with these great ideas? and where do you come up with these great ideas?”. But like a great magician, I can’t just give away the secret. I can tell you, however, that some of my best brain work has been conducted while cloaked in a steady stream of lukewarm water. The combination of ultimate relaxation and no distraction helps create a very intellectually stimulating environment. Now you probably want to know if I came up with the idea of highly recommended while in the shower. It’s a good question. Now you probably want to know the answer.

Quality Alone Time

It’s hard to find places where you can be alone in the city that never sleeps. And as much as I try to frequent bars and restaurants that no one else bothers to enter, the best place to reliable be by myself is in the shower. And when I get that water temperature just right, there’s no place I’d rather be spending time with myself.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about taking a shower with lukewarm water.

Not Easily Achievable In All Showers

The first time you shower in a new shower is always the most difficult shower. Why are there no universal settings for temperature control through shower knobs? Who is in charge of this bullshit? Why is there no global governing body that sets shower standards to which shower manufacturers and installers must rigorously adhere? I DEMAND SHOWER CONSISTENCY. This is a steep hill and I’m willing to die a painful death on it.

How long ago do you think most people stopped reading out of sheer, uncontrollable rage at my stance on the temperature of shower water? Or do you think I got a good amount of hate readers, scouring every word of this post to find nits they can pick?

Highly recommended has yet to inspire a serious debate in the comments section (Just a quick note about the comments section – as the author and sole proprietor of highly recommended, I alone have the power to accept or reject comments. I will only accept comments that engage in reckless, incoherent debate.), but I think this might be the post to finally make it happen. I’m excited.

And if you decided to #boycotthighlyrecommended because of this egregious take, be sure to send all of your friends the link to this post so they can click through and decide for themselves.

love,

nicholas