This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like. 

Dear Reader, 

If you’re like me, you might be reading this at work. If you are me, you’re probably writing this at work. But all I know for sure is that your general desk situation at work is a million times better than mine. 

The advertising agency where I work, [REDACTED, but honestly not that hard to find if you just look at a different page on my website – I would appreciate the page views!], offers Activity Based Workstations. On one hand, ABW gives you the flexibility to work in the environment where you’re most productive, whether it’s a standing desk, huddle room or couch. On the other hand, ABW absolutely sucks. I have to keep all of my work shit (which isn’t much, but does include one important thing) in a locker like I’m back in high school. (And just like high school, no one decorates my locker on my birthday.) There’s absolutely no guarantee that I’ll have access to the same workspace on a daily basis. 

Which means there’s absolutely no guarantee that I’ll get to do one of my favorite things on a daily basis. But when I get the right space, there’s always one thing I do first. 

I highly recommend kicking your feet up on the desk. 

Why? 

Comfortable Position 

My motto for life is this: “if you have to be working, you might as well be comfortable while you’re doing it.” It’s not the most memorable motto. But it does help me make sure that I feel good whenever I have to do something that might technically be bad. (My job consists of making ineffective banner ads, so it’s not like I’m doing anything that bad.) Sometimes, this motto manifests in me wearing paragons of comfort like sweatpants and a hoodie. But more often, it drives me to forget about good posture and throw my sneakers onto the table instead of my company provided laptop. It makes writing things like these blogs just a little less painful. 

Makes Me Look Like I’m In Control 

Twenty-five percent of being good at your job is doing things that indicate you’re good at your job. The other seventy-five percent is looking like you’re good at what you do. (Trust me on this – the reason I get paid to be a writer has nothing to do with my command of the English language.) Kicking your feet up on the desk makes it look like you’ve got everything handled; like you don’t have a care in the world. Could I spring out of my chair and solve a crisis? Absolutely. Could I fall asleep in the next twenty seconds? If I continue writing blogs like this, I will. I can do whatever I want with my feet off the ground. 

Gives Me A Good Stretch 

I’ve already waxed poetic on the benefits for folding your body into different positions, so I won’t waste your time going through that again. (Although if you really think about it, all I do is waste your time.) But having my legs on the desk is an effective way to get in a good hamstring stretch without looking like you’re actually stretching, which tends to weird out your coworkers. Or at least I’ve heard it can weird out your coworkers – I don’t have firsthand experience with a situation like that. 

Provides A Good Vantage Point 

From seeing who’s meeting to understanding fashion trends, it’s important to keep tabs on everything that’s happening in the office. If you’re sitting in a normal position, hunched over your laptop screen, the only thing you can see is your work. (You could argue that this is the whole point of being at work, but that’s incredibly pedestrian stance to take.) When I’m leaning back in my chair, I have a much better angle from which to monitor the comings and goings of my coworkers. Sometimes, being more informed is more beneficial than working hard. (I wonder why I haven’t been promoted yet?) 

Helps Me Stay Relaxed 

Being relaxed without actually relaxing is tough. But after years of practice, I’ve managed to find the sweet spot, which is right in the middle of not giving a shit and giving yourself a heart attack. When I need to be a little more business, I’ll sit up straight at my desk. But when business calls for being relaxed, you know exactly where my feet are going next. On most days, business is so relaxed that I hardly bring my feet down. 

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about kicking your feet up on the desk. 

Makes My Legs Fall Asleep 

Even on those days when I think I’ll never bring my feet down from the desk, reality hits – eventually, I’ll have to get up and move somewhere else. And when I’m required to do so after an extended period of reclining and relaxing, there’s a very good chance my legs aren’t going to work when I need them. They’re asleep – all tingly and numb And that’s bullshit. After everything I’ve done for my legs, this is how they’re going to repay me? Dumb legs. 

After writing this whole post with my feet up on the desk, I’m afraid to bring them back down. Hopefully you, a kind reader, will see this post and come grab my coffee mug so it can be refilled without any labor on my part. 

After all of the wonderful content I’ve given you, it’s the least you could do. 

love, 

nicholas