This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like something that I like. 

Dear Reader, 

Ever since I was little, I wanted to be the boss. (I promise this whole post isn’t going to be about the 2017 animated classic Boss Baby, even though I could drop at least 1,500 words on that movie in my sleep. So goddamn good.) I understood very early on that being the boss was the only way to be. You get to do whatever you want. (When you’re the boss, you can just watch Boss Baby all day.) And because doing whatever you want is incredible, I tried to become the boss of everything I could.

I was the boss of my sister’s first steps, hijacking the video of this important childhood milestone to prove to my mother that I could also walk. I was the boss of the family budget, insisting that visiting Toys ‘r’ Us was the best use of my father’s middle manager salary. I was the boss of my time, spending most of it doing exactly the opposite of whatever my mom wanted me to do. 

I was the boss before. I am not the boss now. (But I guess I’m in charge of this blog. I should get new business cards.) And until I become the boss again, there’s something I have to ask my boss for. 

I highly recommend taking a sick day. 

Why? 

Getting To Do Whatever I Want 

Obviously. It’s not that I totally hate my day job, but there’s something to be said for telling your day job to fuck off for a day. If I want to practice acoustic covers of popular rap songs, I can. If I want to go on a run, I can. If I want to wear a robe all day, I can. (Should I be allowed to do whatever I want? Probably not.) It’s the freedom that’s important. 

Chance To Mosey Without Consequences 

I’ve never moved quickly. (My father, outfitted with a fake hip, consistently beat me in footraces up until only a few years ago.) But instead of freaking out and trying to increase my speed, I’ve leaned into my general operating pace: I mosey whenever I can. Even in the City That Never Sleeps, there’s really no reason to move fast. When I’m not at work (whether I’m sick or “sick”), I can take my sweet, sweet time with every task. The only time I’m wasting is my time. And if anyone’s going to be a waste of my time, it might as well be me. 

Not Having To Be Available 

The internet has connected people that would have never been connected, which is great. But that means that everyone is too available. I don’t want to connect at all times. I don’t want people to be able to find me and talk to me whenever they feel like it. (Honestly, unless it’s an emergency blog post, what would you possibly need to talk to me for?) Being out of the office is a blessing for disconnecting because being sick is the ultimate excuse. No one can get mad at you for being sick. 

Cutting Myself Some Slack 

I am my own harshest critic, which means I hardly ever give myself a break. But you can’t be mad at yourself for getting sick. And you definitely can’t be mad at yourself for taking a sick day. So when I turn on that Out Of Office, I let myself relax. I’ve done a lot already (I’ve written too many blogs) and I’ll get back to doing more when I feel better. Or more accurately, when I feel like it. And when I do, I’ll go back to lamenting the fact that I consider finishing only one paragraph of a highly recommended an incredible success worth celebrating. 

General Healing 

Even if I’m only “sick”, I’ve always got something worth healing. More often than not, it’s mental health related. (Do you think I would have dedicated over a year of my life to this blog if my mental health was in excellent condition?) Taking the time to do whatever I want, very slowly does wonders for my mental condition. And you know what they always say: “when you feel better, you blog better”. 

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about taking a sick day. 

Being Sick 

I probably could have been more clear about this earlier, but there are two reasons I would take a sick day: being sick and being “sick”. If I’m “sick”, I’m probably tired from something I did the night before and don’t have anything of worth happening at the office. If I’m sick, I legitimately don’t feel good. Do the people that need to know, know the difference? Never – that is, until they read this. (Ha! No one reads this blog. I’m safe.) Being sick definitely sucks. I don’t need to pad my word count by convincing you of something you already agree with. 

As the boss of this blog, I’m making an executive decision: I refuse to wrap this thing up in a coherent way. It’s cliffhanger time. Loose ends will be left loose. You’re going to have so many questions by the time you reach this part of the webpage and what you’re reading is not going to answer ANY of them. 

But as a reward for sticking this horrible post out, I’ll reveal my biggest secret: 

love, 

nicholas