This is highly recommended, a series where I provide a compelling argument for why you should like stuff that I like.

Dear Reader,

When I moved to New York, it immediately became clear that I was not adequately bagged up. I owned a backpack worn mostly by teenage girls that still shop at Urban Outfitters, a couple of those giant blue IKEA tarps and a medium-sized, free tote bag from a baseball game. But this totebag wasn’t a New York tote. It wasn’t like the totebags I would see at the Central Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, emblazoned with public radio stations, used book stores and everyone’s favorite brands.

But finding the perfect New York tote hasn’t stopped me from going to the place where I can fill it up with books. Although it wasn’t obvious to me at first, you can carry books in other types of bags. You can even carry the books you get from the public library with your hands. And after deciding that the mile walk from my apartment to the library “exercise”, that’s exactly what I do on a regular basis.

I highly recommend visiting the public library.

Why?

Quiet Is Strictly Enforced

There are very few public places where someone is ready to throw down to protect the silence. (You might say that movie theaters qualify, but I like when people yell after an explosion or gasp after a twist.) One afternoon at the library when I was pretending I had something important to do, a cell phone rang. Out loud. No vibrate. And then the owner of the offending cell phone answered the cell phone. Out loud. She received at least 78 dirty looks before a library employee came over and told her to hang up or leave. They’re serious about shushing.  

Free Stuff

If I walk into a Barnes & Noble, I can’t take a book off the shelf, put it in my non-New York tote and walk out. At the public library, I can. It’s simple. Not only can I get free books, I got a free plastic card, a free, smaller version of the plastic card fit for a keychain and access to a bathroom that’s not one I pay rent for. (Very underrated aspect, imo.) If they gave me a free New York tote, I wouldn’t have a reason to go anywhere else.

A Totally Unique Smell

Hints of thrift shop and grandma’s house seamlessly blend with the odors of industrial strength cleaners and the musk of Brooklynites from every color and creed to create a smell you can’t smell anywhere else. You might think this combination sounds gross. (I’ll admit, when I have to articulate it using the written word, it doesn’t sound too appealing.) But it also feels incredibly familiar, like a stench I’d be comfortable spending a few hours bathing in. Not too strong, not too soft. Just right. If you bottled up Eau de Library, I’d spritz it.

People Who Aren’t Going To Bother You

When you’re out on the street or down in the subway, New York is a city full of people that aren’t going to bother you. And I love it. But the dynamic seems to change when you enter a place where sit down next to a bunch of other people that are sitting down. Some strangers become friendly. Painfully friendly. Since my greatest pet peeve is having to talk to someone I don’t know, this becomes a serious problem everywhere except for the library. In between the stacks, people don’t give a shit about what you’re pretending to work on - they’re focused on pretending to work on something too.

There’s got to be one thing you don’t like about going to the public library.

It’s so goddamn hot. Like painfully hot. Like the kind of hot where you start sweating after spending 45 seconds looking for a book. And there is nothing worse than sweating while wearing clothes that you aren’t supposed to be sweating in. (Except for talking to strangers and sweating while wearing clothes you aren’t supposed to be sweating in).

I still haven’t found the right tote. Some just slide off my extremely slopey shoulders and I’m not willing to put in upper body workouts necessary to fix them. Some are too small. Some just don’t seem very cool. Maybe the library will read this letter and decide to give me the perfect tote bag (for free!) as a token of their appreciation of my appreciation. Maybe I’ll never find the right tote bag because totes are bullshit and pointless compared to a normal backpack. Maybe I should just a pair of cargo pants that can carry everything I need to carry. Maybe I should stop worrying about tote bags. Maybe?

love,

nicholas